Plans for My Memorial Service

I've given this a lot of thought since Dad's death. While it was in some ways quite cathartic to put together his memorial service with my siblings, it also was stressful at a time when there was so much emotional upheaval. I want it to be easier for anyone left behind who wants to honor my life. And I actually enjoyed thinking about what kind of service I might want.

Unique. That's a word I've heard all my life in describing me. I think it was used mostly as a compliment, but am aware that it was also used diplomatically by some to avoid the words weird, strange, or other more pejorative terms. I choose to use it in its best context in describing my desires for my ideal memorial service.

The biggest challenge for whoever takes on the responsibility of coordinating will be finding a place that can accommodate my wishes. I envision some sort of homelike atmosphere, but not a furnished home. Nor a corporate hotel/convention type site. Think more along the lines of wherever one would be happy hosting a wedding (Jessica, maybe this would be a snap for you to find, given your professional expertise!)

The main entrance should open on to a big room with a table full of food and drink. People should be encouraged to eat and drink as they visit with one another and share memories of me. Chairs & small tables in a cafe type arrangement should be spread around this big room. In this room should be a book for guests to sign and make comments - loved the one that Denise bought for Dad's so something along those lines would be excellent. The book should be given to Gina.

There should be 4 satellite rooms - preferably adjacent to the big room with the food - with 10-15 chairs set in a circle in each room. Each room should have soft lighting and music. There will be a theme for each room reflecting a different aspect of my life. One person should be designated to stay in each room to greet anyone who enters that room and invite anyone who wants to sit and share to do so. It would be a good idea for whoever is the room facilitator to have an interesting anecdote about me related to the theme of the room. (Spielberg, move over! This is going to be quite a production!)

Room #1: Family Room
In this room there should be lots of photos of me with my family, which would include photos of me with Gina, and photos of me with her family as well. Shari's fantastic photoshow production would be great. I'd like the music in this room to be of me singing. I'll put together a CD mix when I'm at Denise's place this Spring.

Room #2: Pet Room
In this room there should be a laptop playing a continuous loop of all my videos of the dogs & cats. The photos of Plato & Machiavelli that are in my bedroom should be displayed along with all the urns in our entertainment center. If possible, it would be wonderful to let any pets that survive me to be in this room. I'll do a CD mix for this room as well.

Room #3: Academic/Professional Room
In this room there should be a display of my degrees (all at my office) my dissertation, published articles, photos of me in WPG, and anything else from my teaching and County career that would be a good remembrance. Pomp & Circumstance should be softly playing in the background :--)

Room #4: Star Trek Room
Come on. You knew it was going to be there! Lots of paraphernalia in my office to use in this room. Also my Star Trek clothes and a photoshow of the 2007 Cruise & 2008 Convention. I have a CD of Star Trek music to be used here. Not sure who from my family would want to be in this room as facilitator. Maybe Kerry or Brad?

OK. That's what I want. If/when I change my mind I'll let you know. Thanks for indulging me!