Daddy's Finally At Peace...

The last post was leading up to Dad's release from the hospital. Here's how Mom reported to all of us via e-mail on Thursday following his release about 4:30PM:

He was very happy to be home instead of in a hospital or nursing home. There has been a steady stream of well-wishers on the phone, in the mail, in e-mail, and at the door in person since we got him home. The hospice staff is very professional and concerned, helping us anyway that they can. Bob is sleeping almost constantly now and is receiving pain medication to keep him comfortable. Our only concern now is to keep him comfortable, pain-free and at peace....until God calls him home.

God called him about 4:30PM on Saturday, January 17, 2009 -- my brother's 56th birthday....

I'm so glad that I was so wrong about being concerned that Dad was being brought home rather than going into another facility. Denise went by to see Dad on Thursday night before she returned home. Shari saw him all settled in before she returned to Smithville, too. Lori tended to his every need and desire, spending the night with him & Mom. Her RN hubby, Mark, also spent the night Friday night so that Lori could get a little shut-eye. Lori told me she was checking on him every hour Thursday night -- like watching a newborn, just to make sure that he was still breathing.

Friday morning he reached for a cup of coffee, but was too weak to sip it. About 2PM he fell asleep and never woke again. Gina & I came over Saturday about 11AM and then Alena & Jonathan brought us all Mexican food around noon. After pigging out, we all played Trivial Pursuit (a birthday present for Mom from Lori) until 4PM when Alena, Jonathan, Gina & I all took off for home.

Shortly after we left, Mom was alone in the living room with Dad when his breathing changed a little. She called Lori in, and he was gone. Mark called me and we were just a few miles from the apartment. We turned around and came back. It was almost like Dad was just waiting until we finally finished our game so he could spend a quiet minute alone with Mom....

All of Lori's kids, my cousin Leticia & her husband Dave, Mom's brother Bobby & his wife Fairy all came over about 6:30 and we all had a chance to say our goodbyes. We shared favorite memories, and in true Root family tradition, there was quite a bit of laughing & scratching going on :--) Uncle Bobby, Aunt Fairy, Leticia & Dave left about 8PM and then Lori called the Hospice team to let them know. The hospice RN came over and "pronounced" Dad at 8:32PM. He then called Carnes Funeral Home to come transport the body to the Baylor College of Medicine. Dad had donated his body to them years ago, wanting to help further medical progress by donating any organs usable for transplant and student practice or other research needs.

Gina suggested that we stand around the bed, hold hands, and pray. Lori & Mom spoke to God verbally, while the rest of us wept.

About 9:30 Gina & I went to the dumpster to take the trash out and when we came back I saw a man standing in the parking lot looking a bit lost. He had a clip board so I asked him if he was looking for Apartment 1023. He said yes and told me his name was Dan and he was from Carnes. I led Dan upstairs and introduced him to the family and then assisted him & his partner in getting the stretcher upstairs using the elevator. While they unloaded the stretcher from the hearse, I asked exactly what the process was and where they were going to take Dad. Dan explained that they would put a toe tag on him, wrap him up in sheets and a plastic cover, and take him to the Carnes crematorium. Then in a day or two Mom would get a call to come pick up the ashes.

I am sooooooooooooooo glad I asked for the specifics! I said, "No. My dad willed his body to the Living Bank at Baylor." Daddy would never have forgiven me for not making sure that this was done - especially since the last thing he told me to do was make sure that was all taken care of. They checked the notes and said that it had not been called in that way, so we'd have to change the paperwork. I went through the pre-screening form with them (Did you know that there's a weight limit for donors? If you're 5'6" or shorter you can't be more than 170 pounds. At 5'8" you can only be 190 pounds. So I need to lose some weight!!!) and he qualified. I then signed the form to release his body to them.

Dan explained that he would be taken to a storage facility at Baylor and when needed, his body would be brought out and used for whatever they needed. He said bodies are typically used for at least 2 semesters, then at the end of each academic year, Carnes cremates the bodies and then takes the ashes of all the donors out into international waters of the Gulf of Mexico, do a ceremony, and dump the ashes there. He said that families can request the ashes be returned to them, but that there is a fee involved for that service. If spread at sea, all services are free. I told him that Mom had already made it clear that she did not want the ashes returned. I was pleased to know that the ashes are treated with such reverence.

Dan also told me that Carnes does cremations and transportations for all of the other medical schools and several other non-profit agencies using cadavers, and once a year they host a commemoration ceremony honoring all those who have donated their bodies to science. I should get an invitation to this ceremony for our family sometime this summer. When they were about to leave with Dad on the stretcher, all nicely wrapped up and tagged, Dan made a nice little "thank you" speech to all of us for helping to add to the progress of science by making this sacrifice of donating Dad's body. We all know that Dad would have it no other way. Gina & I accompanied them and the stretcher back to the hearse. And right before they loaded him up, I touched the pretty velvet blanket that wrapped his body and said, "See Dad? I did what you wanted. Bye now."

All of us but Lori & Mark left shortly after that. They stayed to spend the night with Mom. Now, they've gone home and I'm here with Mom. She says she wants to spend the night alone tonight. I'll be available to come over if she changes her mind, but I plan to stay here with her until bedtime tonight. Then I'll be back tomorrow afternoon - I have a few errands that I need to run tomorrow morning. After MLK holiday, I'll have Tuesday-Thursday off from work on bereavement leave. Mom & I will be tending to some business needs and Denise is spearheading the planning of Dad's memorial service. Will post more details about that as they become available. I know that I speak on behalf of the entire family when I say...

THANKS TO ONE AND ALL FOR THE LOVE, PRAYERS, ENCOURAGING WORDS, AND SPECIAL THOUGHTS. It really means so much. And for all those who have asked what they can do to help, please know that continuing to keep Mom and all of us in your thoughts and prayers is all we require. We hope to put together a special "widow's fund" for Mom in the near future and any donations to that in lieu of flowers would be greatly appreciated.